On Sunday, Friends and Family held a celebration of life, inviting their community to reflect on the last six years. The stories spanned from the bar’s soft opening on the eve of shelter-in-place, to hook-ups, bathroom selfies, and even a 2022 James Beard nomination. Karl Helm’s been a regular since the beginning.
“I think I have upward of maybe 80 mirror selfies,” she says.
For Helm, Friends and Family was distinct in the queer bar scene.
“ I appreciate that this place is queer, but quality, there are a lot of spaces for queers that are dive bars and clubs and this is like a totally different thing,” Helm continues.
That was the goal for Blake Cole when she opened Friends and Family in March 2020. Cole has worked in the service industry since her twenties.
“I built this place because of my own heartbreak within the industry and not feeling like there was a place for me, or a place for the people that I love, and that's why I built it,” says Cole.
However, opening during the pandemic proved to be a hurdle too big to overcome. Cole says that the decision to close was made for her. Years of high rent, loans, and inconsistent business made keeping the bar open unsustainable. It seems to be part of a larger pattern with queer businesses. Port Bar, Asia SF, and Gingers — all queer bars in the Bay — shut their doors in the last year. OASIS also announced they would close at the end of the year.
“2025 and this time that we're in, is so hard just to exist in the world that you add on operating a small business,” says Cole, “you add on operating a small queer business on top of that, and it really feels almost impossible to survive everyday.”
News of the closure hit the community hard. And Cole is right there with them.
“I loved it, even though it was devastatingly painful at times, I still loved it, and I still liked lighting the candles every night and setting the tables and doing the flower arrangements, and finding my little bits of joy here through the chaos," says Cole. "I loved it. So, so, so much.”
Friends and Family will have its last night of service on December 30th.
