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Will Durst: Traffic report approaching the fiscal cliff

It's ugly out there, people! As expected, following the holiday recess, we're seeing a lot of bluster and bombast building up on the beltway and that has managed to slow progress on every budget deal ramp to a virtual crawl. Three or four 18-wheelers full of election day rancor have overturned. And as you might have imagined, rubber-necking has resulted in not so tender fender benders. 

It's gotten so bad that major media outlet trucks are stuck on the shoulder filming each other, filming eachother. The pathway to prosperity remains hopelessly clogged due to a multitude of partisan pileups caused by refusal to merge, not to mention the plethora of misread polls. 

Part of the problem has to do with the numerous turnarounds that have recently been closed - and reports continue to stream in that some crazy person named Grover Norquist has been spotted in the right side ditch, flagging motorists off the road. 

Due to the slickness of the situation on the street and some inexplicable glitch that has turned all the stoplights to red, further delays are expected to spread across the nation as we experience a massive impasse on all roads leading to the cutoff meant to avert the dreaded fiscal cliff.

Outside of that, looks like we're back to normal, with stalls and jams of near-total gridlock for the rest of the day and into the foreseeable future. 

The opinions of Will Durst do not represent the opinions of Crosscurrents or KALW.

Crosscurrents Will Durst
Outraged and outrageous, Durst is as current as today’s headlines, as accurate as a sniper, and universally acknowledged by even his peers as the nation’s foremost political comic.