Note: Will Durst is a comedian and you may find some of his material offensive, or worse, not funny. His views do not necessarily reflect those of KALW.
Hey guys,
Will Durst here to ask the burning question that's on the lips of pretty much every American today-and that question is, who's going to be the democratic presidential nominee in 2016? Because politically, not enough stuff is going on right now, so it's critical we gaze down the road a bit and try to figure out what's gonna happen a scant 38 months down the line. And it makes sense!
Come on, President Barack Obama's second term is almost over. The guy is spent, just taking up space-he's not a lame duck, he's a quadriplegic platypus! And if he really does love this country he would prove it by stepping down and giving Joe Biden a head start. Of course the job isn't simply Biden's for the taking, he's gonna have to pry the nomination from someone's who's already spent eight years in the White House-albeit in the East Wing. And apparently the GOP also considers that former tenant their major threat, since they've launched a preemptive strike against Hillary Clinton.
They've threatened to boycott NBC and CNN if the networks run Hillary specials like they plan to, and they've taken to calling the former First Lady too old. That's right, the Republicans, the party of Reagan, the same guys that ran Bob Dole, whose campaign slogan was "Hey you punks, get off my lawn." Can't wait for them to charge her with being too white as well-and too rich! Of course other names are being bandied about, Andrew Cuomo, Rahm Emanuel, and Cory Booker, who just locked up the democratic slot for the New Jersey senate special election to fill the seat vacated by the late Frank Lautenberg. And the former Secretary of State has gotta be sweating like a sumo in a sauna just thinking about a young, charismatic fast-track black guy servin' less than one full term in the senate hijacking her nomination-again.