It’s hard to remember this in the medal-hunt frenzy of the Olympics games but sometimes you can win while losing.
This is Sandip Roy in Kolkata
On the last day of the Paris Games, Kinzang Lhamo of Bhutan was the last person to cross the finish line of the women’s marathon, about an hour and a half behind the winner. As she crossed the line the spectators rose to their feet to cheer her said a commentator.
BHUTAN: a runner in last place being given a reception like this. (Cheering)
Lhamo, the only woman in the three-member Bhutan Olympics team, was taking part in her first Olympics and living up to its spirit - the Games were meant to be all about taking part rather than winning.
It’s hard to keep remembering that and not to be devastated by mishaps - dropping the baton in a relay, scoring a same-side goal or having a crossbar-crotch collision while trying to pole vault.
The anguish of the sportsperson who came in fourth, missing out on a podium finish by a whisker, is palpable even on television. But there’s coming fourth and then there’s coming last. As pop philosopher ABBA sang
ABBA1: The winner takes it all, the loser’s standing small, beside the victory, that’s her destiny.”
I understand that feeling only too well. I was the one who straggled in behind everyone else in school sports even in the sack race or the three-legged race. I was the boy chosen last for any team when we played cricket during recess. And terrified of flubbing the catch and letting down the team, I secretly prayed to be banished to some part of the field where no ball would ever come.
Now imagine letting down your country in front of millions. When Australia’s Rachael “Raygun” Gunn became the roast of social media after her performance in the new breaking category at the Paris Olympics, I laughed along with everyone else but cringed as well.
To have the world’s eyes on you, mocking your moves, giving them names like kangaroo hopping, crab walk and chin-holding squirms must have stung.
But Gunn was truly a sport. She told CBC the trolling was devastating but she took it on the chin.
GUNN: I went out there and had fun. I did take it seriously. I worked my butt off preparing for the Olympics and gave my all.
She showed up at the closing ceremony as well, grinning and jiving, carried aloft on the shoulders of a beaming teammate. She looked like she having the time of her life. That felt like a real high.
To lose without recriminations and excuses is also a sign of class. When Rafael Nadal lost to Novak Djokovic in straight sets in the Olympics, he didn’t blame anything or anyone.
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He just said “I come here, I try my best, I play.” Of course, Nadal who already has two Olympics golds, unlike Raygun, does not have to anything left to prove. But still, not everyone, veteran or newbie, can take a loss on the chin with such dignity. It’s a skill worth learning.
It’s also worth learning how to offer support to the loser. Congratulations to a winner come easy, empathy for the loser is harder. When Indian wrestler and gold medal hopeful Vinesh Phogat was disqualified on the cusp of her medal for being 100 grams overweight,
Phogat’s fellow Olympian javelin thrower Neeraj Chopra said people forget those who lose but “I just hope whether she gets a medal or not, people don’t forget what she did for her country.”
NC1: Jo vines ne kiya hai woh na bhooley bas
Chopra was hoping for a gold but only managed a silver. The gold was won by Pakistani Arshad Nadeem. Pakistan and India might be bitter rivals but Chopra’s mother brushed aside any disappointments saying Nadeem was like a son as well.
MOTHER1:
Nadeem’s mother responded saying “Winning and losing is part of sport but they are like brothers.
MOTHER2: woh mere beta jaisa, dost phi hai, bhai phi hain
We are trained from the beginning on how to win but no one teaches us how to lose even though life often comes with more losses than wins. To lose with grace is also the mark of true champions.
Now if only someone had told me that when I was flailing in that sack race.
This is Sandip Roy in Kolkata for KALW